“Song of the Rose” 2


God’s Ashes
If I truly love you
Love must be a living sacrifice
(Inside my heart, the woman cries)
So, upon the altar desire goes
But, to whom, the ashes?
The wind takes you far away, dear one
Far away from me
Into Gods arms for safekeepingLR/Evensong @1994


SONG OF MAN

I see you, you see me
Pretending we’re not looking, secretly
If only one of us would lend a hand!
But yet, it is the song of man
So quick to throw stones
All in the name of love
Till that final stone
Draws mortal blood

LR/Evensong @ 1992

LEAVING THE COCOON

The mist is thin now
Where once it had the consistency of steel
And now, my hands are free
Once bound by harsh memories
Now, learning what a blessed teacher
Time can be
So long, the moth struggled
Batting her wings in vain
Not realizing that growth
So often feels like pain
Til’ finally, through grace
A doorway is made
And the moth, now butterfly
Sees the light of her first free day

LR/Evensong @ 1998

I AM THAT TREE

There was a sapling
In turgid brine
Growing haphazardly
Roots left exposed, diseased.

I was that tree.

There was a young oak
Swaying in the storm
Scarred, branches broken
Leaves dying one by one
Dreaming of a time
When it would break free
Mourning, it seemed, to the death
For the loss of each fallen leaf

I was that tree.

Now, suddenly it seems
Made so strong
By a purposeful God’s design
Shooting up straight and tall
Thousands of feet
Free at last! Such a joy!
Just learning to be me.

I AM that tree.

LR/Evensong @ 1992

A WINTER’S TALE

A winter’s tale, long ago
So long ago who would know?
Hear the shrillish winds
Caring not for sounds of pain
Once again in torments refrain
In a broken world
Where peace lay shed
Long ago a heart was fed
Till on snowy pavements
It fell to its death
And only tender remnants
Remain there instead
A winter’s story, perhaps best untold
In a weary world, long grown old
A promise given, then taken away
From a heart that recklessly strayed
If she’d known the danger entailed
Would she have listened
To the winter’s tale?

LR/Evensong @ 2009

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Song of the Rose (poetry through 2009)


 
There Is A River

There is a river between us
Or is it a sea?
It is the difference between truth and lies
Between nothingness and infinity.

This is probably my favorite of everything I’ve done….written in 1992, published in 2009.

The Rose by Another Name

There was a flower
Growing strong in the sunlight
Oh,what a proud gardener!
Boasting of all he had built!
Til one day, he crushed the flower
Because he held her too tightly in his hand
For he could not understand
He demanded, without words that she
Dance no longer in the sunlight
That she, for his pleasure, should change
And she complied in love, longing to please him
Who is really to blame?
The gardener who kills his flowers?
Or the Rose who took on another name?

 

Another from 1992…..and another favorite:)

Lover, Child, and Friend

I walked along the shore with you
And we were holding hands
You were so much like a boy
Yet so much like a man
And I remember you, I remember you
Tho’ our love has reached its end
(even as it once joyously began)
Always, I remember you
My darling, loving man
And I will always miss you
For you were my very best friend
And I will always long for and miss
All that has come to an end
And I was wrong, I know
To push you into places
That you weren’t willing to go
I will remember you my beloved
Even when I am at an end
You and the precious times I can’t forget
My lover, my child, my friend

Just One Tiger Lilly

Just one Tiger Lilly
Or even a rose bud
To tell me you were sorry
Or even that you cared
Just an honest tear
Or to hold me in your arms
To tell me I was protected
Safe from all ancient harm
Yet, there was only denial
Enough to darken the sky
Not even a Tiger Lilly
Not even a reason why

Discordant Destiny

Though swiftly turning pages might
Ebb and flow as they yellow and die
The book cannot be written again
No matter how we try
So we make whatever peace we can
With a discordant destiny
Here for but a moment
Till we link hands with eternity

The Sea Continues On

You had to have a villain
And so, it fell to me
And I guess that’s the way
That you need it for to be
But -look! The world changes, and still
The stage upon which our spirits danced
Will survive, oh yes it will!
The proud ocean will go on
Unmindful of what it has seen
Our tears, the erotic chess match
Is scattered as mere ashes upon the sea
For therein lies the secret
The hero and villain must go on
On to their next adventure
No matter how the truth is re-done
And that brief moment
Where I loved you
And you said that you loved me
Floats away as mere flotsam
To the floor of the eternal sea.

If I Walked

If I walked, I could reach you
But what of when I arrived?
All the love in the world cannot sway
A heart set on denial
If I touched you then perhaps
You might finally see
To look past my studied indifference
And at last, truly see me.
Learn of me, my lover

Learn of me, my lover
And well, you might find
Not the one you thought you knew
But a new and better mind
A heart that has learned to love
Tended by your unselfish hand
A love that will not let go of me
No matter how I demand
Learn of me, my lover
Let us join hands once again
And find a shared road together
As our souls entwine and befriend
This time like no other
Not the mistakes of the past
This time a hope and a future
This time a love that will last.
Copyright © 2009

The Roads Left Behind

….That’s when I looked over my shoulder
At the roads I left behind
At the ones upon which we pause and wonder
The ones upon which we cry
And, thinking, with more than a shudder
I thought of where I now stand
For, even as I stand and watch
It is becoming part of my past
What meaning can be gathered?
What truth could be told?
What wisdom could be shared
With those yet to know?
Of that road which we all shall travel
Each place so quickly left behind
The world where we love, long, and dream
Sometimes called misery, sometimes called life.

You are my home

Funny to learn the ways
Of falling in and out of love
Each time a bit deeper
Each time with the same heart
Funny to find that when the soul finds
Its human home
The search is over
And there really is no need to look further
Amazing how times away make me love you even more
How I can still get so lost in you
When infatuation is only a ghost
Rattling chains in memory’s hall
Amazing, how this one who would never love again
Still loves you best of all.

While You Slept

While you slept
Another came and stole the treasure
You thought you had claimed
Beyond charm, he could offer so much more
A shoulder to cry on
Something real and something sure
Beyond eyes that could turn my world upside down
When trouble came, he could be found
While you slept, assuming I would wait
He was there, and he came to stay
So while I loved you, he became more true
For he did all the things you would not do.

Sweetest Poison

Sweetest Poison, let me go
From the soul you fill with woes
Woes that should be unto death
That accompany every breath
Yet, somehow, you just miss the mark
Leaving me blinded in your dark
Even in stillness, no respite
Heartbreak feels the same day or night
Guards and snares held my heart
But you found a way in and tore it apart
Sweetest poison, why must you cling
Dirges and elegies are the gifts you bring
You dog me to most sacred grounds
Your skeletal embrace my burial gown.

Heaven Has It’s Own Society

Heaven has its own society
Just as hidden secrets in the heart
The ultimate price needed for acceptance
A willingness to give your all
Heaven knows its own people
No matter where they are on the road
Finding, perchance, that surety stands
By that which never ends
Heaven knows has its own society
Standing guarded, yet open and free
Death conquered, sins forgiven and grace abounding

He Caught A Firefly

He caught a firefly in his hand
A gypsy who brightly blazed
Yet he just couldn’t believe
And so, he allowed her to fly away
She found a lion in her room
His wild beauty made her gasp
But wild things are meant to be free
So she let him go at last
How they loved each other!
On those brief, shining days
But how they wounded each other
With worldly, stereotypic ways
Now apart, the lion and the firefly
Close tearful eyes in goodbye
Love once strong must be buried deep
As they move on with their lives
He caught the firefly, but let her go
She found the lion, but set him free
Now they turn their backs, with more than a tear
And set off for separate eternity.

Issues of Pain

Leafless, the deadened tree
That once suggested hopeful blossom
It sways in a storm without wind to guide it
Never ending, yet ceasing when eyes fall upon it
Heartbreak, premature end to hopes and dreams
Of a thing unspeakably beautiful
Returning to a solitary island
One which I have always known
One which is my permanent home
Leafless, the branch of human life
That once promised to flow freely
And I breathe, though my soul feels dead
As I glimpse all the shades of what might have been.

Metamorphis and Returning

You’ll go on, and so will I
In years to come we’ll know why
Things came to this pretty pass
Why things so hopeful just could not last
The mail will come, and winds will blow
Rain will fall and so will snow
And in time you’ll just become
A stranger in a heart grown numb
Yet smiles return against my will
In quiet moments, I love you still
Hating memories yet returning to them
Wondering what I can choose to give
To a season that ended far too soon
To a deadened rose ere its bloom

Uneasy River

Uneasy River, glide we o’vr
A shared lantern still obscures
The splash of progress fills our ears
Makes no notice of our tears
Uneasy river, turns and twists
Yet never prepared for the new course
A shared purpose, yet uneasy truce
In how to yield the sole oar
Uneasy river, rolls with might
We pass in silence each small light
Til we find there’s nothing more
But a foreign sand, a distant shore
Uneasy river, yet friend to man
We traveled well, as long as we can
And in parting company, we finally see
The tumbled path to eternity.

Casualties of Love

Losing ground, by the day,
Trying to remember what to say
Memories of greatness, of love once shared
Seem to fly slowly away
How long would I have waited
How much would I have gave
Yet you turned your heart from me
And pushed me further away
In this battleground of heart
I slowly, slowly greive
And learn that as with all hearts
There is finally a time to leave
Leave the things which never were true
Turning my heart is the hardest thing to do
Yet, in turning, I remember and am grateful still
Glad that I loved you, and always will.

The Path Stumbled

The most heartbreaking path
Is that which we rush to, unready
Which we only see in retrospect
As the dance stumbled,
The chance fumbled away
And the world continues to go ’round
Till almost all would forget
The wisp of love we once kindled
Like a premature baby’s breath
The path we rushed to unready
Too broken to truly give
The childlike love too weakened
To ever truly live
And now we stand, a gulf between us
Pretending nothing ever was
Clutching discreetly the sacred remnants
Of that which we once called love.

To a Friend Now Gone

Lay roses all around her
Tears upon her hair
Some don’t understand
Why there could be so much care
But no one can deny
That she was here
And that her precense
Was ever so dear
Each moment without her
Is like music without a tune
Like melody with no inspiration
Like an endless aching wound

The Lovers Season 

The eyes of my beloved
Are like a majestic cascading sea
Rolling powerfully yet gently over me.
The voice of my beloved
It is my favorite song
So sweet, yet so strong
The heart of my beloved
Is true, brave and just
It has slowly but deeply won my trust
The soul of my beloved
Is on fire for the one who called him to be
Greater is his love for him, than it is for me
The sight of my beloved
Makes my reason go astir
It is love, finally love, grace without words

On Requition

Past understandings of love
By life’s wayside fell
When such gentle whispers touched me
Only heaven’s heart can tell
The majesty of saphire sea
Overwhelms and seems to own me
As I find myself regarded
A jewel of highest price
We rush towards one another,
Hearts unabashed, souls open wide
And when I think I cannot love you more
I find myself more and more surprised

Overcoming Futility

Did you think love could survive
In a barren, arid place?
Yet, though it still lives
It seems utterly abased
Did you wait, still wondering
How much I could take?
Did you wonder, just pondering
What might fuel my wait?
Yet, beloved, as I am weary
And desire no more to cry
I must push aside the love
And dry such exhausted eyes
For whatever we meant to the other
Now lies confused and in the ground
Love, or what seemed close to it
Just can’t seem to be found
In the hearts of both,
At just the same time
And in knowing this, we are delivered
From such sad and desolate times.

Bitterness

You are warm when I touch you
But the warmth does not reach my heart
And we grow more lonely
Each day we love, yet are apart
Yet, there is no one who I know better
And no one who better knows me
Still, we will spend our lives with others
And this compounds the grief

Dost the Wind

Dost the wind with arrow like quiver
Wind its way to you at night?
Springing upon you as dew like heather
As the world slips darkly out of sight?
Dost the river, ever flowing
Caress sweet limbs as I long to do?
Dost the sun, its eye never tiring
Grow faint with love for sight of you?
Does each road find its heart breaking
As you rounded each new bend?
Did each place note the journey
And wonder if it would end?
For now, I give you leave to wander
Knowing it would finally be true
My heart full of sweet sorrow, waiting
Evermore crying to you.

Music Never Played

I, your luminous candle
couldn’t bear your flame
It filled and overwhelmed me
Its fury could not be contained
I, your diamond worn proudly
My soul all ablaze
Forgot the God who had made me
And Who taught the stars their ways
So fateful intervention
Mercifully laid idols bare
And I stand here alone, yet pitifully
Wondering what a soul can bear
Yet, I’d take it all on again
To have just one more precious day
To live in the grace of your sweet smile
To dance to music never played.

In Absentia

Why is the fragrant Rose
Really just always out of reach
That which we in hindsight
Longingly seek?
Why do we linger
Tears no stranger to our eyes
Long after love or what passed for it
Takes a weary breath and dies?
Why do we long after ‘used to be’
And looks long extinguished in
A beloved ones eyes
When memory, faded memory
For a lifetime must now suffice?

How Deep it Goes

How deep it goes
The wellspring of the heart
How deep, and permanent
As wind through winter windows
Till silence starts….
How deep the love
So strong so pure
Till one pulls away,
And the other, unsure
Reaches for the stars
And finds only empty air
How deep love goes
Still, still there.
Till, walking at the sunset
With nothing but memories to keep
A love so promising, forever asleep
How deep, oh how deep
How deep.

Leave Before Winter

Leave before Winter
Fly far from my side
Lest ye stay, having remembered,
That blessed Christmastide
In haste did ye come to me
Now in haste, ye have gone
Before Spring could warm the blossom,
Ending the sweetest of love songs
Cast me far from thy heart
For it was never for ye true
Leave the widow at the altar
The feast without food
Because Ye might pity when ye remember
And I’d only want ye if stalwart and sure,
Fly far from my breaking heart
And, love, leave before Winter.

I Let You Go

Even if I owned the sands of time
It would make no difference in your heart, dear
So, beloved, I let you go.
Even if I held your willing hand in mine
It would not be enough to hold you
So, beloved, I set you free.
Even if I knew your every secret
And the meaning of your every smile
I wouldn’t mean I had ever known you.
\For love is in giving away
Love means giving away
Love means giving away
So, Love, I give you away
Even if I sold my soul for riches untold
It wouldn’t change what was never there
So beloved, with a full heart, I give you up
And though I’ll never understand the fear
That stalks and cheats your soul
I know that I could never hold you near
So, beloved, with all my love, I let you go

You, My Weakness

Weakness never makes you strong
So why am I missing a place
I never really belonged
Loving you was my weakness
And not my strength………
And now the pain reminds me
Of where I don’t want to be

I think of the tears
That once made me appologize
But it was only your pain
That brought them to your eyes
Did you ever once weep for me?

To know how I wept for you
How I longed to see your smile
How I sit here now
And wish it could be different
But knowing all the while
Everything that can never be again
We can’t even be friends……..

Pain protects me now
As much as it hurts
It has become my friend
Protecting me from you
And all that should never have been
Truly, truly the end
Goodbye
My once beloved friend.

Here Among The Dead

Can you imagine the quiet
Here among the dead?
Minutes tick by mercilessly
Drops of water endlessly dripping

There is no peace
In the boredom of acclaim
So used to one another
Each day essentially is the same.

You were my knight in armor
My king upon a throne
But even royalty shows flaws
And the magic, slowly is gone

Can you imagine the stillness
Playing monotonously in my head?
I wait for something, anything to happen
Here among the dead.

Deep Winter

After a rose reaches its zenith
It begins to wither
We mourn it for a time, then forget.
It returns to the soul that gave it birth
We gaze upon a shooting star
Making our wishes so recklessly
Unaware that we are witnessing–a death
Like a rose past its zenith
Even memories begin to wither
Like flames licking paper
Soon, only ashes will remain
And, I can’t help but grow bitter
Sadly questioning ‘why.’
Our rose seemed destined to wither

And why

Love for us wasn’t born in the Spring
Instead of deep winter.

Beloved Sculptor

Given to me, a sculptor
Who enacted lasting change
What I scarcely knew the others
Surrounded me and I became
Untried clay in tender hands
Like a song waiting to be sung
Like a riddle one at last understands

Given to me loving solace
Peace near a steady heart
A chance to love my tender sculptor
And become a work of his art.

Anymore

Naught lives here anymore
So shutter the windows
Lock twice all the doors
Close up the garden, latch the gate
Time to be going, it is so, so late.
No reason to listen, in emptiest of halls
Where once rang laughter
Now, nothing…..nothing at all
Where hope once grew
Now strives the refrain
Of purposeless memory
The aftermath of pain
The house now empty, bereft of grace
No further expression on a loved one’s face
Move on quickly, as one did before
Because nothing…naught lives here
Anymore.

A Winter’s Story

Draw near if you will
By a warm fireside
I’ll tell a winter’s tale
For I know a lot about ice
Eyes once alive, now hollow
A heart once fervent, now still
Grieving in passionate consummation
We find that it never will
Be part of lover’s story
The tale of two hearts
A frozen love that wouldn’t speak its name
Doomed from the start
We came to a crossroads,
First you, and then finally me
Finding there was only goodbye
In a saddened Winter’s story.

Regret

Quicksilver Butterflies
Memory is enemy but also friend
Now that it is all over
Before it could truly begin
A flash of blue thunder
Home in a stranger’s smile
A chance to feel welcom
In another one’s eyes
Tears and misunderstandings
How did it even start?
Till a desert in coldest winter
In the center of a broken heart.
Things I wish I couldn’t remember
Things I never will forget
Tears fill the most tender of rivers
And what remains is only–regret.